| do-over!! |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|11:55 am] |
| [ | music |
| | I'm not ok - My Chemical Romance | ] | ok this will be my journal again...i got tired of fuckudotcom n that other one but i just came back in this one trying to find some pics n realized i posted a lot more of my life in this one then i thought so it makes sence for me...
ok now to actually update my journal: i have a new GF Jessica i work with her, she's a cashier we met a lil bit before christmas...i really never thought she would be interested in me but i guess i was wrong, we started going out on the 14 i hate valentines day but she actually made me like it this year i didnt 100% want to start our relationship on V-day but i guess its not to bad...
i was supposed to get a car with my tax return but they took 3000 dollars from it so im really pissed about that but dont worry im going to fight it...it just seems like im never going to be able to get my car..
work still sucks ive almost been there a year one more month to go...like its a big deal or anything but i will be getting a raise if its not 55 cents ill be pissed because that will only bring me up to 8 and there r people just starting who r making 9
end of update:
ok thats it for now |
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| My Salsa |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|01:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | !i!i!i!iCoNfUsEdi!i!i!i! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | D12 - My Band | ] | i wanna be cool damnit!! lol..yea i wanna be cool i want to be one of those cool people u just see n be like "dude now that guys cool" then people would write in their journals "i hung out with this guy today he was so cool!" lol ok enough of that..
hello journal i havent write in u in a while my old friend
my computer is going to be going back for a lil while to get repaired cuz its a POS so i hope everyone doesnt miss me to much dont go into any deep depressions while im gone ill be back..haha right im sure no one will notice
i hate not haveing a job...i hate my parents bitching at me i hate the cops/pigs/5 o/whatever u wanna call them i hate them..i hate not haveing money...i hate not seeing my friends...i hate not haveing a cell phone..i hate not talking to my friends...i hate liveing in cape coral..i hate liveing in florida...i hate my life...i hate myself...i hate my mailbox....i hate the mail man...i hate the guy across the street...i hate the person 3 blocks down....i hate the goverment.....i hate being lazy......i hate being hungry.....i hate feeling useless...i hate feeling depressed....i hate feeling like noone cares......i hate takeing the bus....i hate my body hate hate hate.......hate.......
i love you journal *hugz* |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2004|02:18 am] |
| [ | music |
| | oompa loompas singing in my head | ] | well just when i thought my life couldnt suck anymore then it already does it seems as if i will be working at Mc Donalds god damnit...yeah my parents r pretty muchly makeing me im so sick of everything...someone come to my house bring either a gun a knife or a blunt objects n just put me out of my missery please?!!?!?!?!?!? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2004|04:36 am] |
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...................................................................................................................................i.......................................................really..........................................fuckin................................................hate.............................................life...................................................its..........................................not.......................................................................................fair................................................................and.................................................it..........................................pisses...........................................me........................................................off................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................SpOoF |
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| blah... |
[Feb. 26th, 2004|10:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | BoReD | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rammstein - Feuer Frei! | ] | ahh damn i cant find my CD player anywhere n i have to leave soon :[ that makes me sad cuz now people on the bus r gunna try n talk to me :[ lol
i havent updated in a while but i have a truck now! lol for those of u who didnt know..its not the best thing ever but its something...now all i need is my drivers license haha..but the only way to get that is to practice driveing my truck n i cant do that till i get all of its tags n a license plate n i cant do that till i have insurance n i cant get insurance untill i get a job....so yeah lol i still have a lot of work inhead of me..
friday Beath n i r going to the Lee County Fair! woo that should be pretty fun..we're going to try n stay there as late as we can then try n get her mom to let me sleep over
im sad :[ i dont really have a charger for my phone the only one i have has to be charged in my parents car so i havent been able to call anyone lately n it makes me very sad n also it makes me feel like an asshole
*sneezes* |
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| i think u should read this entry |
[Jan. 27th, 2004|10:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Stabbing Westward - What do i have to do | ] | ok im changeing this journal i have had it to long n just fucked it all up with my bitching n all my other crap..my new sn is lostinyour4ever yeah i dont know how to do the lil link thing so just search for it...yea so if u want add me n ill add ya back |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2004|08:41 am] |
well this is just going to be a really quick update sinse i really dont have much time till i have to leave to go to Beth's house
tampa was pretty awesome wish i didnt have to come back haha yea went all lots of rollercoasters or however u spell that lol im such a dumb ass anyways yeah ill write more about that later
yesterday was Beth's b-day im glad i got to spend so much time with her this weekend im suprised she hasnt gotten completely sick of me like most of my friends
well i just wanted to update to let whoever reads this know im back n that im not dead...to bad i know lol |
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| vacation.. |
[Jan. 1st, 2004|01:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | kindda depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dope - I Am | ] | well its been a while sinse i last updated..a lots happend i guess not sure really where to start...happy new year everyone..i guess thats a good way to do it..lets hope that this will really be a year to remember
how i spent my new years eve...i worked all day n when i finally got off work at like 11 or 12 we went to club neptunes to see twisted method n we got there just intime to see them...i wanted to go in the mosh pit so bad but it looked so lame there wasnt that many people in it n the people that were in it were dumb asses..after that Beau Kevin Logan Erin (Beaus GF) n one of Logans friends went over to our friend Morgan n ALicias house ive been over there a few time n every time i get drunk as fuck lol...but i only drank 3 beers this time cuz i was like extremely depressed for reasons i will never tell
yeah i also got my cell shut off cuz i didnt get a chance to pay it so to all my friends im extremely sorry..
Kim, im really sorry that i never got a chance to give u ur gift i promise i will soon, i hope ur haveing/had fun on ur trip
Courtney, i got u a christmas present its not much at all but next time i see u ill give it to u...but then again i havent seen u in like years so i dunno when that will be :[
yeah saturday im leaveing to go to tampa until monday so i hope atleast some people notice im gone lol
tomorrow/today/friday im going shaopping for new clothes n all kinds of shit then going to the movies so it should be pretty awesome i get 4 days off of work!! :D even though this week they had me work 45 hours in 4 days thats a lil more then 11 hours a day so yea im like extemely tired n im sure no one read thise far so yea later... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2003|12:18 am] |
today was kindda crazy sisne its sunday the 70 bus doesnt run so i had to walk an hour in freezing cold weather to get to the 140 bus stop to get downtown..then once i got downtown i called a taxi n went over to Beths house..
we went to the shell factory i have never been there till today it was pretty awesome they had a lil zoo type thing n this lion kept trying to start shit with me lol...but yea i didnt get any sleep at all before i went to her house so i fell asleep about a thousand times i feel really bad about it to cuz as my really good friends know that when i fall asleep n u try n wake me up im the biggest fucking asshole ever no matter who it is n i never remember any of it...so yea that sux
uh oh newer pic of my ugly ass
 its me thinking about where i went wrong in life lol
yea i just wanted to update so all of u could read up on me haha |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2003|04:37 am] |
im really not sure what to update about right now cuz im pretty fucked up lol..yeah after i got off work my friend Josh n i went over to our frien danilles house n played cards it was pretty fun lost 15 bucks n drank 5 beers n like 6 shots...all in all wasnt to bad of a night better then normal..
im so tired right now its crazy i wanna go to bed so bad but i really want to see my baby n she left me a message on my cell crying it made me feel really really bad i dont get to see her till 9 tomorrow cuz her mom doesnt want to wake up early...well i guess if i get everything ready i could get some sleep.. |
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| quick post |
[Dec. 1st, 2003|01:02 am] |
well i just wanna make a quick post
lets see...i lost my cell phone a few days ago on the bus then i found out that someone found it n took it back to metro PCS so im gunna head over there in the morn to go get it..
work is a bitch...i hate getting up early but oh well...the moneys good i made 90 just working tonight from 5 to 11:30 thats pretty awesome..i spent my morning hanging out with Beth n Jot crazy shit..
i miss all my friends i havent seen in a while..Kim, Courtney, Erin, Jay, Jenny..n lots more of u guys...
i ran inot Donna at the mall the other day i havent seen her in like 3 months since she started hateing me cuz i went back out with Beth n not her...
ok well thats thats hope everyone is living a happy life n enjoying the cold weather |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2003|03:19 am] |
first i just wanna say sorry about the last entry i would delete it but the comments made me happy so im not gunna..
lets see....the 17th was mine n Beths 7 month anni...it was interesting.....sometimes i feel like i cant make her happy anymore...
tonight Beau Kevin n I went to Emerald City (strip club) for one of our friends b-day party thing...i dunno i didnt wanna go it was so fucking boring..i dunno i just dont find naked chicks spinnin on a pole intereting haha yea i was trying not to look but its kindda hard when the place is covered in mirrors lol..
jod i hate work i worked all day today n now i have to wake up in a few hours n work from 12 to 4...ughhh....
yea...Beau his gf n I r going to be moving into our own place around march that will be awesome to finally get out of this fucking house....well good night |
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| blahhhh.... |
[Sep. 30th, 2003|01:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blink 182 - fuck a dog in the ass | ] | well i think i finally got my broke ass a job!! woo!!!!..at the OG "olive garden" i gotta call them tomorrow but im also going to see Beth..so i guess ill have to call then while im at her house...
ive lost so many of my friends it makes me sad :[ i never really go to bell tower very often anymore, im not going this friday cuz Beth has something at riverdale n she has no way home n yea i really wanna see her so ill just probably go to her house..i wish i had my own place n i wish she could move in with me haha
hmmm....i never have anything to update anymore cuz usually all it is, is me hanging out with Beth or doing something with her but oh well.. |
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| another busy day... |
[Sep. 19th, 2003|03:54 am] |
well im uplate again..i really dont know y i can actually sleep in kindda..
around 1 im takeing the bus over to Beth's house then we're going to the mall for a lil while, I'm getting my second hole in my left ear peirced n my right ear peirced so thats pretty awesome, then we're going back to her house till around 10 so should be a pretty good day..even though i wish i was going to bell tower i miss hanging out with my friends...oh well
saturday: going over to Beths around 8AM then shes comeing over here then till 9PM n we're over to Bell Tower for a lil while..yup thats the plan for now lol
uhh im really not feeling well..blurty isnt working n its starting to piss me off.... |
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| i dunno.. |
[Sep. 17th, 2003|01:50 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Cake - Shadow Stabbing | ] | well i really dunno what to update about but i guess ill update anyways just for the hell of it...
yeah so todays mine n beths 5 month anniversary im really not sure what im gunna get ehr yet arent i great bf?..yeah i know i suck just be glad u arent going out with me..
Beth wants to go to AMC friday so i dunno i might be going there i dont know for sure yet but if i do everyone should go there instead of bell tower cuz u know u wanna see me :] haha actually y would anyone want to see me?
hmm almost 2 i dont think ill be going to sleep tonight even though i am so so sleepy..
damn im really sick of my parents fighting grr its so fucking stupid i just gotta get the hell outa here..i wish i had somewhere to go right now... |
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| FuCk!!!! |
[Sep. 10th, 2003|02:48 am] |
FuCk!!!!!!!
dont ask im just in the mood to yell fuck as loud as i can till im completely out of breath then smash my fist into a mirror..
well its almost 3 in the morn n yeah im still up im waiting up so i can call Beth at 5:15 n be her alarm clock haha yeah im lame n then i gotta leave my hour around 12 n hope that i take the right bus to her house n make it there by 2, then im going to go with her n her mom to see her new house omg what fun this shall be such a great day..haha...right...funny..maybe it wont be so bad.
right now im just looking through mp3.com for new differerent music to listen to cuz sometimes i get tired of hearing the same crap over n over again gets kindda boring ya know..
havent really made much time for my friends lately n i feel really bad about it im just usually not home..but i guess thats still not a good reason oh well ill try not be such a crappy friend
well im off to do who knows what hope everyone has a good day |
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| hmm.... |
[Jun. 25th, 2003|04:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dashboard Confessional - Screaming Infidelities (acoustic) | ] | its been a while sinse i last updated but some people wanted me to so here i am..
i got a webcam tonight..its pretty awesome..i doubt ill let anyone watch it though because i really dont like what i look like so yeah i would just feel weird..but right now i can sue it as a camera...hmmm...i dunno
today i went to the mall..on the way there i had to walk in the rain n the water was almost up to my knees the streets were pretty fludded..but yeah after i finally got there i was all wet n really effin cold so once i found Lexy i hung out with her n ran into a few people i know..
Thursday i have an interveiw at the Olive Garden im sure ill get the job cuz most of my family works there n if i do get the job ill be a host n ill make 7.50 an hour which is very awesome..
wednesday i did something really fucking stupid n i really really thought i was going to die...but as u can tell i didnt..it was really fuckin scary though..i dont think ill ever do that again ;x |
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| once again happy anniversary to me.... |
[Jun. 17th, 2003|04:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | kindda mad.... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jack Off Jill - Strawberry Gashes | ] | yup its the time again..its mine n Beths 2 month anniversary..n at this point in time im pretty pissed off at her so who the fuck cares..im so sick of love....fuck u love ,,|, >_< ,|,, grrr...i was in a pretty good mood a minute ago but whenever i start thinking i get pissed off....
ok fuck all that im not even careing anymore onto other stuff..
im not sure if im going to be able to go to Courtneys b-day party or not.. :[ i really really hope that ill be able to but im not sure if im going to be able to get a ride there or not...this sux...i might get to hang out with her sometime this week though hopefully
Kim n I still gotta go n find something for Courtneys b-day...but what to get her...hmmmm.....hopefully ill be able to get more money then i thought i would have..
i was invited to go to this party in a beach house friday night so i think im gunna go...n yea i dunno what will happen there :P
sorry i really havent been updateeing much...ill try n start to update more its just hard to actually bring myself to update..
i was wrestling with my friend josh today in my liveing room (college style wrestling) n i somehow hurt my forearm..n got a few cuts n rug burn to oh boy! lol...hmm i gotta get some sleep soon..
Jenny we havent been talking much lately not cool ;x we gotta start talking more again! lol
ok i think thats it i missed all u :] hope that u all missed me as well
how much ya wanna bet i dont even hear from Beth today?!..... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2003|04:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ja Rule - 6 Feet Under Ground | ] | Hello :]
hmm...im really really bored ;x im trying to stay up all night n the bordom is getting to me..n my blanket keeps calling me...
tomorrow im takeing the bus over to my friend Lexys house im gunna have to wake her up when i get there mwahaha lol then we r gunna chill there for a lil while then head over to the mall should be lots O'fun..
day 3 of no Beth :'[ its no fair i want my Beffony!!!..she called me n said that shes been bored pretty muchly tomorrow shes going golfing or something..it hasnt really seemed like she cared to much botu talking to me but i really think it might have just been because she has to use a phone card n doesnt want to use all of it already..plus if she didnt want to talk to me she wouldnt call...maybe..
my arm is starting to heal from soemthin..hopefully it heals soon! lol..
yeah but tomorrow im going to the mall to find something for Jenny for her b-day woo!! :D |
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| .......... |
[Jun. 8th, 2003|10:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Depressed.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DMX - Whats My Name | ] | i hate being depressed...i really really try hard not to be..i knew this was comeing...Beth is leaveing tomorrow morning n tonight was the last night i got to see her before she left..it was really great....just...not enough...i wish she wasnt leaveing...i dont want to sound clingy or anything but i dunno...theres just.....i dunno....im at a loss for words...i just have to change the subject...
we went to see 2 fast 2 furious tonight..i thought it was a really good movie kindda of missed some of the beggining of the movies but oh well i got there late sorry Beth, Annette, n Lexy
i was planning on going to the airport to see Beth one last time but her mom isnt going to let her meet me there...grrr...i think thats really stupid n she even made her come home tonight so0o0o effin early its stupid...but i dont care i got to see her for a lil while..n i hurt her twice ;x i didnt mean to though im so so sorry Kitten..
i know i said i wanted to change the subject but this is really the only thing going through my mind..the night is just replaying over n over in my mind...i really hate it when she says that it might be the last time i ever see her...she has no idea how much that scares me..... :'[ but i know everything is going to be fine..shes going to go up there n have fun hanging out with her family...
Jenny invited me to her b-day party so thats really awesome im sure that it'll be lots of fun even though i have to dress differently then from how i usually dress but oh well i really dont mind..
To Beth: hey Babe..im really really going to miss u while ur gone u have no idea...i know its only a month n that u will be comeing back but its still gunna be hard i know i sound stupid im being a lil dork but i just want u to know that even though we have been getting into fights pretty offten i know all of that is going to change it really already has..well i just want u to know that i love u n i always will always and forever...i know that you'll have fun n i really hope that you'll be happy.. |
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